Ask and it will be given to you; search, and you will find;
knock and the door will be opened for you.For everyone who asks receives, and everyone who searches finds,
and for everyone who knocks, the door will be opened.Is there anyone among you who, if your child asks for bread, will give a stone?
Matthew 7:7-10
An early Saturday morning in spring. The newspaper lands with its usual plop on the sidewalk. I retrieve it in robe and slippers, spread it out on the kitchen table, reach for my coffee. I don’t make it past the front page before I feel a wave of anxiety begin to wash over me. War in Ukraine and Gaza drags on, killing countless innocents. The circle of hate and vengeance across our political spectrum grows larger. As extreme weather confronts us, we are reminded daily of the imminent damage of climate change, the suffering of the poor and homeless in our own city does not relent…
As I read of these things, I feel despair creeping into the empty spaces inside me. How can I make a difference against so much evil? How can any of us? Where can I find the strength to keep moving through this pattern of days? Where can I find a glimmer of hope to sustain me? I close my eyes, and a nearly wordless prayer forms, “Please, God, help me to find the strength I need to live in these days… “
The routine of the day mercifully asserts itself. In spite of this chaos in the world, I have a Little League Baseball game to attend! The field is across from a neighborhood school, and a sky bridge arcs high over the street to connect them. I hurry across it and join other parents and grandparents in the bleachers. Spirits are high—there is banter and cheering as we sit together watching our ten-, eleven- and twelve-year-olds play this well-loved game. Their uniforms look sharp and bright in the morning light, and they wear them comfortably, with pride. We watch them bat and run and field, yelling and jumping and laughing their way through the game. The sun is warm on our faces, and some parents have brought fruit and cinnamon rolls to share. Our team wins!
Walking back over the sky bridge after the game, I pause at the top and look toward the west. The Olympic Mountains are silhouetted against a clear sky. They shine with such luminescent beauty that it takes my breath away. I am frozen, while the landscape before me seems to pulse with the perfection of the moment and I am filled with a profound sense of joy.
This reminds me of a quote from a man working deep in the trenches to fight injustice. He was asked at a lecture he gave, “How do you keep going when your work is so difficult? How do you keep from falling into despair?” His answer comes back to me in this moment of bright sunshine. “I make sure to take the time to do the things that bring me joy.”
Even as the despair of the earlier morning tugs at me beneath the surface, I rejoice in the moment. A small voice inside me says, “Yes, this is what brings me joy, this is my bread for the journey.” And I give thanks.
Thanks for the reminder of God’s Blessings and Grace for each day. Sometimes I also am tempted to despair. Remembering God’s Grace does sustain my hope and my joy.
Indeed, it is only by grace that we are sustained.
Agreed, Virginia, and this sunny Saturday I prepare my raised beds for planting seeds in a few weeks.
Nothing like getting your hands into the dirt to engender gratitude!
Thank you for the life balance you engendered with this piece
Beautiful words, Virginia. And today with the sunshine, blue skies, mountains out, birds singing and squawking, there was joy all around us.