These are trying times. Duh.
So I’m going to share with you three things that give me immediate comfort. I wish they were all uptown things like listening to a piece of classical music or gazing upon a Vermeer while box breathing, but they are not.
When I am feeling anxious and desperate I can find on-the-spot comfort with a Reese’s peanut butter cup. Is it the optimistic wrapper colors of orange and yellow? Or the tiny brown pleated papers in which they arrive? Perhaps it is the yin/yang combination of salty and sweet. Very grounding. I don’t know and I’m trying to cut back.
The second comfort is baby powder—just a little—after a shower. It can make me feel for a few moments, like everything is right with the world. Maybe a warm bottle of milk is on the way or nap with my favorite stuffie. I know, I know, talcum powder comes with all kinds of warning. My husband races out of the bathroom and slaps on an N-95 when he sees it. So I hold my breath while sprinkling. But still—every once in a while—it’s just the thing.
The third immediate comfort is something perfectly safe and healthy and I heartily recommend it to everyone: the 1980’s TV show, “Cheers.” Often the opening theme song brings tears to my eyes.
Making your way in the world today
Takes everything you’ve got
Taking a break from all your worries
Sure would help a lot
Wouldn’t you like to get away?
See? Right there. Who can disagree with that? Making our way through the world today can be really hard. It can feel like there is no end to our troubles. Yes, we would like to get away! But not just anywhere.
Sometimes you want to go
Where everybody knows your name
And they’re always glad you came
You want to be where you can see
Our troubles are all the same
You want to be where everybody knows your name
If you think names are no big deal, just take a little stroll through the Hebrew scriptures—preferably when you can’t sleep—and read all the names. The entire Bible is big on names, even changing names when appropriate. So Jacob becomes Israel, Joseph becomes Barnabus, Simon becomes Peter, Saul becomes Paul.
We want to go where everyone not only knows our names, but more important, our stories. We want to be with people with whom we have a shared history and who share our beliefs, our values, our goals. We want to be people we know will love, comfort and celebrate with us. A community like this is priceless. A community like this is called church—and I am loath to give it up.
Church is not so much like a bar, as it is a restaurant. In both cases, you need to carefully consider what you are serving. If all you serve is pasta and the customers want fish and vegetables, you’ll lose customers. But restaurants and churches are different in two important ways.
First, in a restaurant, you serve the customers what they want but not necessarily what they need. In a church, we have to do both.
Second, in a restaurant you have a chef which literally means “boss.” The chef makes all the decisions around the menu, how much foods to order, what wines to offer. If the chef is the owner, they may even make decisions about the hours and the décor. But in a church—especially a congregational church—we make decisions together.
So together we can change the menu, the hours and even the décor. (Let’s make a stained glass window for the chapel!)
For sure COVID has taken a big toll on gatherings everywhere. Streaming video, YouTube replays, Zoom gatherings. We had to do that. But now, how can we get back to a place where we feed one another and are known by name? I still believe it is church.
Be glad there’s one place in the world
Where everybody knows your name
And they’re always glad you came
You want to go where people know
People are all the same
You want to go where everybody knows your name.
In the meantime, don’t forget peanut butter cups and baby powder.
Yes, Debra, you once again have mailed it. So many of the staff do not know the names or the stories we made in the past which is our church history. As person who has been in the church since 1969 I feel very discarded and I think very few know my name and certainly my history with the church. No one reached out to keep me connected.
Arlene, thanks for your comment. I think as a community, we have to reach out to one another. If we use the analogy of a family, often times when kids are troubled, they reach out to their brothers and sisters. They don’t always depend on their parents. So as your sister, I apologize for not reaching out to you. We have to support one another. If Sam from the Cheers bar was out sick for a week, those regulars: Diane, Carla, Norm, Cliff, Coach would still be there for one another!
Another spot on piece, following Sailing Away. Amen Debra!
On my way to the grocery store ?. George certainly knows everyone’s name His joy and enthusiasm always makes me feel welcome
Debra, Thank you for expressing the essence of church in such an accessible way. When I went this morning I got to see so many people that I know and care about. Conversations were warm and rich. I look forward to the time when more people will feel comfortable returning in person to this place where, even if everyone does not already know your name, they are hoping to know it soon.
Thanks Debra. Yes, a perfect companion piece for Sailing Away. We watched Cheers reruns almost every night for years until Netflix cut them off. It was the last show we wanted to see before falling asleep because we would fall asleep laughing. All those friends had squabbles, but they were also welcomed when they entered the bar and sat
at a familiar seat. Conversations continued from there.
We watched Cheers almost every night until Netflix discontinued it. What a perfect way to fall asleep laughing. The Cheers crowd had squabbles every day, but the door was always open and each customer had a favorite and familiar seat where the conversation continued
You and Wes are valued members of University Congregational UCC!!!
Dear Church Family,
I’ve been wanting to respond to the Sailing Away blog, but haven’t found the words to express my heart. Knowing that responding with an open heart and the hope and intention to be a bearer of love and light for the path can be useful even if done imperfectly, so I dare to proceed.
There is tension in transition, and we’ve had more than enough transition lately. What I feel called to is grace, plenty of grace and compassion for every sibling in our community, even for me. And a vow to never abandon hope, to never look away from distress, and to constantly inquire: “Where is the divine opportunity in this moment?” May I know how to be a holy vessel in this moment, and offer life and grace?
Whatever our troubles or our situation, I do not believe that we ever find ourselves separated from God’s love and presence; therefore, we have access to enough love, enough wisdom, enough grace to discern the next gracious step or gesture or encouraging word. that can heal, comfort, edify, or challenge one another to press on in harmony, or to find new paths with the cordial support of our blessing.
Let us be like Barnabus, who was given this moniker “son of encouragement” because he made a way when there were obstacles. He gave sacrificially of what he had to support the work of the gospel. He made a way for Paul to be accepted by the apostles. He made a way for John Mark to continue to share the gospel when he departed, and then eventually reconcile with Paul.
I pray that we may each and all embody grace and offer encouragement generously to ourselves and one another. May God help us and be with us.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful to see a full church again. I also believe the church is the place to be known and recognized and welcomed.
Thank you. I never got around to watching cheers but the sentiment in the words of the song are apt. It making decisions about getting together we need to remember that we are social beings and we need society – in person where we can see the beloved movements and breathe the scent that our brains register even when our forebrain doesn’t get the direct message. We need the familiar pattern and words of the liturgy. We need to be able to sit and talk and commune over coffee, tea, or water and maybe real food (not just symbolic meal). A retired pastor has commented on going to see his congregants in their homes. Ours never make visits. Doctors don’t either. I wonder how they really get to know people in the congregation? Our small groups are essential. That’s where we are known and valued – Sunday breakfasts, Taize services of yore, shared meals like MixUps, committees and church council are where we work together on a common task – that’s where we really get to know each other. It is the sum of the interactions the create our congregation spiritually. May we continue to love and work with each other.
While I agree that being face to face may come again for many people, what does it mean if you cannot get to church in person? Are you forgotten, put on a shelf as a has been, or simply ignored as unimportant?